At 16 David was well liked. Not quite popular, he was to aloof to have that classification. He was kind, but kept mostly to himself. He had landed at last in Seattle with his Uncle and Aunt after his fathers death a few years before in a plane crash. He had bounced from family to family, school to school until he arrived where he was.
A handsome boy, with a tragic past was all the girls needed to know to make them sigh over him. His intelligent cobalt eyes and black hair were the topic of many conversations.
Tall and slender David was a runner, his physique was well defined. He liked the physical exertion and the solitude that came with the sport. The school coaches were constantly trying to recruit him to one team or another.
David sat in the back of all his classes, his ever present sketchbook on his desk. He sat bent over it, his hair falling into his eyes, ignoring the girls that always chose to sit next to him. He never volunteered in classes. It was a waste of time. These people were not going to teach him anything new. Anything that he wanted to know he looked up in the library or on the internet.
David was walking out of his History class when he rammed right into someone that was coming in the room, knocking them down. He automatically reached down to help the person up. A cool hand grasped his firmly and stood up with his help.
"Sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going." the girl said.
"No it's my fault." David smiled at her.
"My name's Arianna. What's yours?"
"David."
"Nice to meet you David."
""Nice to meet you too Arianna." David said. She had a pretty name
4 comments:
Hmmmm. It's interesting to see how David went from sweet kid to pariah, but it seems a bit...of a dichotomy, that he's antisocial in school but becomes a really strong leader. He seems very charismatic later in life, and this seems...anomalous.
Think about it. But I do love it when death follows someone. It's creepier, I think, when death follows someone who's inexplicably cheerful, or creepy. Given your portrayals of adult David, it makes more sense that he's popular and well-liked but without close friends.
That it true. I guess I hadn't really thought it out very well. I was going where the muse took me. I will work on them.
It's good to run with the muse, but on revision, this is the sort of thing to look at, and probably a good reason to have a fresh set of eyes.
I do like the changes. Go easy on the clichés, though, and the dangling modifiers still linger...
Post a Comment