Original tell: he has a deceptively sweet smile
Showing:
Jo Seung smiled brightly as he stepped out onto the street. He had his hands jammed into the pockets of his hoodie. A few girls giggled as he passed, and he inclined his head politely. After a few too many stares, he tugged his hood up over his black hair and down to shadow his face. It wouldn’t do him any good if someone remembered him. Once he made it out of K-town, no one would look at him twice. He was still smiling brightly when he slit his target’s throat, but the glint in his eyes was murderous.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Gescano, Call of Duty
Original Tell: His life was duty and service, protection of his master.
Showing:
“My Lord!” Gescano sprinted to intercept the blow descending upon his fallen master. Bringing his sword swiftly into position he deftly blocked the stroke that would have killed his master. Beating back the attacker he quickly disarmed and killed the man.
He swiftly dispatched the others in the attacking group, to the last man. Gescano, swinging his sword like a man possessed, his blade moving faster than the eye could detect. Every movement sure and deadly, he stood between his master and the enemy.
Gescano turned, offering a dirty hand to his master to help him up.
“More practice.”
Showing:
“My Lord!” Gescano sprinted to intercept the blow descending upon his fallen master. Bringing his sword swiftly into position he deftly blocked the stroke that would have killed his master. Beating back the attacker he quickly disarmed and killed the man.
He swiftly dispatched the others in the attacking group, to the last man. Gescano, swinging his sword like a man possessed, his blade moving faster than the eye could detect. Every movement sure and deadly, he stood between his master and the enemy.
Gescano turned, offering a dirty hand to his master to help him up.
“More practice.”
Friday, November 7, 2008
Xin makes a choice
Original Tell: She never doubted who she was and what she wanted.
Showing:
Xin had made her choice, she wanted no other.
Xin's arms snaked out, encircling the man beside her, pulling him back into her warm embrace.
“Where do you think you are going?” She asked Sheva.
Xin silenced whatever he was going to say, pressing her lips to his in a passionate kiss. Sheva returned it, loosing himself in the sensory overload. Xin finally broke it off, breathing hard and smiling, her lips bare inches from his.
“Why me?” Sheva asked, struggling to catch his breath.
“Because I want you, and because I love you, I always have.”
Showing:
Xin had made her choice, she wanted no other.
Xin's arms snaked out, encircling the man beside her, pulling him back into her warm embrace.
“Where do you think you are going?” She asked Sheva.
Xin silenced whatever he was going to say, pressing her lips to his in a passionate kiss. Sheva returned it, loosing himself in the sensory overload. Xin finally broke it off, breathing hard and smiling, her lips bare inches from his.
“Why me?” Sheva asked, struggling to catch his breath.
“Because I want you, and because I love you, I always have.”
Thomas Malvolio Phillips: on Romeo and Juliet
Original telling: Kisses and heartaches, madness and murder - Tom liked them better when he had to memorize their lines.
Showing:
“What was it like, kissing her?” Jono asked.
Tom smiled faintly. “Palm to palm is holy palmer’s kiss.”
Mike looked confused. Jono shook his head and muttered, “Bloody Shakespeare.”
“But she broke your heart, didn’t she?” Mike asked.
Tom laughed.
“A broken heart’s not funny,” Mike said.
Tom threw his head back and laughed more. His friends stared until he finally subsided, and then he said, still hiccuping with laughter, “If love be rough with you, be rough with love; prick love for pricking, and you beat love down.”
After a moment, all three laughed. Tom never answered their questions.
Showing:
“What was it like, kissing her?” Jono asked.
Tom smiled faintly. “Palm to palm is holy palmer’s kiss.”
Mike looked confused. Jono shook his head and muttered, “Bloody Shakespeare.”
“But she broke your heart, didn’t she?” Mike asked.
Tom laughed.
“A broken heart’s not funny,” Mike said.
Tom threw his head back and laughed more. His friends stared until he finally subsided, and then he said, still hiccuping with laughter, “If love be rough with you, be rough with love; prick love for pricking, and you beat love down.”
After a moment, all three laughed. Tom never answered their questions.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Garain, the Godess
Original Tell: Her smile was the sun and her tears the life of the world.
Showing:
Garain willed herself into life. She blinked in confusion for a moment, and realized that she was strong. Grinning widely, Garain ran the length and breadth of the world, from ocean to ocean she laughed.
Garain skidded to a halt, she did not know what that sound was, but she intended to find out, Stooping low she saw a small girl, tears running down her cheeks.
'I wonder if I can do that too,' Garain thought, trying to cry.
The heavens thundered down a storm.
“Don't cry little one,” Garain said smiling, and the sun shined again.
“Peace be to you.”
Showing:
Garain willed herself into life. She blinked in confusion for a moment, and realized that she was strong. Grinning widely, Garain ran the length and breadth of the world, from ocean to ocean she laughed.
Garain skidded to a halt, she did not know what that sound was, but she intended to find out, Stooping low she saw a small girl, tears running down her cheeks.
'I wonder if I can do that too,' Garain thought, trying to cry.
The heavens thundered down a storm.
“Don't cry little one,” Garain said smiling, and the sun shined again.
“Peace be to you.”
Jesse Carlisle: once more with feeling
Original tell: On the dimly-lit stage in a crowded coffee shop, he was a musician instead of a superstar.
Showing:
The coffee shop was crowded with students from the local university, and they were too busy to chatting about Foucault and Descartes to pay attention to the boy perched on the three-legged stool, strumming at a battered acoustic guitar. Jesse kept his head low and his hat pulled over his hair and played determinedly, willing his hands not to forget the chords. These same students - mostly female - had screamed his name and thronged for him at the premiere last night in Leicester Square. Now they looked right at him and applauded politely, unseeing, and he was glad for it.
Showing:
The coffee shop was crowded with students from the local university, and they were too busy to chatting about Foucault and Descartes to pay attention to the boy perched on the three-legged stool, strumming at a battered acoustic guitar. Jesse kept his head low and his hat pulled over his hair and played determinedly, willing his hands not to forget the chords. These same students - mostly female - had screamed his name and thronged for him at the premiere last night in Leicester Square. Now they looked right at him and applauded politely, unseeing, and he was glad for it.
Cathalan
Original Tell: Cathalan's eyes went distant as he remembered how he got to where he was.
Showing:
Cathalan winced at the flood of memories, his father before him was Lord Helvan Slehn. He died a short while ago, pushing his responsibility onto Cathalan's young shoulders.
Cathalan rose, muttering, before the sun each morning, and dragged himself to bed each night long after the sun was down. He rolled his eyes as he dealt with petty disputes among the people, and after a while all he heard was “Blah, blah, blah.”
“You know, I like working with you Gescano, you expect me to be more than I am. More than what everyone expects me to be.”
Showing:
Cathalan winced at the flood of memories, his father before him was Lord Helvan Slehn. He died a short while ago, pushing his responsibility onto Cathalan's young shoulders.
Cathalan rose, muttering, before the sun each morning, and dragged himself to bed each night long after the sun was down. He rolled his eyes as he dealt with petty disputes among the people, and after a while all he heard was “Blah, blah, blah.”
“You know, I like working with you Gescano, you expect me to be more than I am. More than what everyone expects me to be.”
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Kim Jo Seung - remix
Original Tell: At first the Mexican boys were dubious
Showing:
“What you doin’ here, pretty boy?” one dancer asked. His friends laughed.
Jo Seung shrugged and smiled easily. “I’m here to dance.”
The dancer circled him, eyeing him up and down. “Asian boys don’t dance - you just work too hard in school and eat lots of rice.”
“I dance,” Jo Seung said.
The other boys exchanged derisive smiles, laughed again. The dancer stepped back and gestured to the linoleum mat. “Show us what you got, pretty Asian boy.”
“My name is Kim Jo Seung,” he said. “Remember that.” And he proceeded to defy the laws of gravity and human flexibility.
Showing:
“What you doin’ here, pretty boy?” one dancer asked. His friends laughed.
Jo Seung shrugged and smiled easily. “I’m here to dance.”
The dancer circled him, eyeing him up and down. “Asian boys don’t dance - you just work too hard in school and eat lots of rice.”
“I dance,” Jo Seung said.
The other boys exchanged derisive smiles, laughed again. The dancer stepped back and gestured to the linoleum mat. “Show us what you got, pretty Asian boy.”
“My name is Kim Jo Seung,” he said. “Remember that.” And he proceeded to defy the laws of gravity and human flexibility.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Xin
Original Tell: Xin would never betray her crew
Showing:
Xin grunted in pain as the armored man used her as a punching bag, She gasped as she felt a rib break, squeezing her eyes closed against the pain.
“Tell me where they are and this will stop,” the Lord said from the far side of the room.
Xin shook her head slowly, another pointed refusal. She raised her drooping head and looked at the Lord. Defiance flashed in her eyes and she spit in his direction.
Xin braced herself for the blow she knew would come, metal slashing through flesh.
“Death before betrayal,” were Xin's last words.
Showing:
Xin grunted in pain as the armored man used her as a punching bag, She gasped as she felt a rib break, squeezing her eyes closed against the pain.
“Tell me where they are and this will stop,” the Lord said from the far side of the room.
Xin shook her head slowly, another pointed refusal. She raised her drooping head and looked at the Lord. Defiance flashed in her eyes and she spit in his direction.
Xin braced herself for the blow she knew would come, metal slashing through flesh.
“Death before betrayal,” were Xin's last words.
Okita Megumi: Brittle to Break
Original telling: she was just as brittle to break [as iron].
Showing:
“He almost died,” Genevieve said.
Meg was still as stone, barely breathing.
“Your plan was risky. You’d never let your shinobi try it, would you?” Genevieve continued.
Meg said nothing.
“She’d have let her shinobi do it,” Lawrence said. “But they’ve had a lifetime of training for moments like that. For acting like bait. For a serial killer.”
“Why did you do it?” Elizabetta asked. “You love him.”
“That’s why she did it,” Lawrence said. “She’d rather he be dead than she have to deal face herself.”
Meg sank to her knees and drew her tanto. She said, “Hara kiri.”
Showing:
“He almost died,” Genevieve said.
Meg was still as stone, barely breathing.
“Your plan was risky. You’d never let your shinobi try it, would you?” Genevieve continued.
Meg said nothing.
“She’d have let her shinobi do it,” Lawrence said. “But they’ve had a lifetime of training for moments like that. For acting like bait. For a serial killer.”
“Why did you do it?” Elizabetta asked. “You love him.”
“That’s why she did it,” Lawrence said. “She’d rather he be dead than she have to deal face herself.”
Meg sank to her knees and drew her tanto. She said, “Hara kiri.”
Monday, November 3, 2008
Kinoria Revisited
Original Telling: Kinoria was dangerous.
Showing:
Kinoria sat to her work, her motions sure as she mixed poisons and powders on her workbench. Turning she selected a thin wicked looking dagger from her collection against the wall and applied a thin coating of one poison to it, it would work quickly.
She crouched in the shadows, waiting for her target to come near, she didn't really care who it was, some drunken, lecherous nobleman most likely. Kinoria stood, spying her target. She stepped out into the light, she was breathtaking, and she beckoned him to go with her. She deftly slipped the dagger into his heart.
Showing:
Kinoria sat to her work, her motions sure as she mixed poisons and powders on her workbench. Turning she selected a thin wicked looking dagger from her collection against the wall and applied a thin coating of one poison to it, it would work quickly.
She crouched in the shadows, waiting for her target to come near, she didn't really care who it was, some drunken, lecherous nobleman most likely. Kinoria stood, spying her target. She stepped out into the light, she was breathtaking, and she beckoned him to go with her. She deftly slipped the dagger into his heart.
Jamal Mbaya - back again
Original tell: the tattoo on his left wrist was more than four lines
Showing:
“Doctor, what do those marks mean?”
Jamal tugged the sleeve of his white coat lower over his left wrist and resolved to buy a leather wristband to cover it.
“Is it a bad mark?” the little girl asked.
Jamal shook his head. “No. It is private. That’s all.”
“I’m sorry.” The little girl hung her head.
Jamal smiled gently and finished bandaging her leg. Then he tugged up his sleeve and said, “I’ll tell you, but it’s a secret.”
She nodded.
“The four lines mean duty, secrecy, ruthlessness, and fearlessness.”
“I don’t understand,” she said.
“I hope you never do.”
Showing:
“Doctor, what do those marks mean?”
Jamal tugged the sleeve of his white coat lower over his left wrist and resolved to buy a leather wristband to cover it.
“Is it a bad mark?” the little girl asked.
Jamal shook his head. “No. It is private. That’s all.”
“I’m sorry.” The little girl hung her head.
Jamal smiled gently and finished bandaging her leg. Then he tugged up his sleeve and said, “I’ll tell you, but it’s a secret.”
She nodded.
“The four lines mean duty, secrecy, ruthlessness, and fearlessness.”
“I don’t understand,” she said.
“I hope you never do.”
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Alexander Duma: Redux
Original tell: He was Alexander Dumas, he could read.
Showing:
Squinting in the dim candle light, the shadowed figure tried to make out the faded words on the pages, jumping every time he heard the slightest noise, fearing it was the Enforcers.
He shifted nervously, he knew it was to risky to be doing what he was doing, but he could not help himself, the words entranced him, weaving him in their binding spell. He whispered the words to himself, not more than the hush of a breath.
Alexander heard the scuff of a footstep and swiftly his the fragile papers under a stone in a hollowed out corner nearby.
Showing:
Squinting in the dim candle light, the shadowed figure tried to make out the faded words on the pages, jumping every time he heard the slightest noise, fearing it was the Enforcers.
He shifted nervously, he knew it was to risky to be doing what he was doing, but he could not help himself, the words entranced him, weaving him in their binding spell. He whispered the words to himself, not more than the hush of a breath.
Alexander heard the scuff of a footstep and swiftly his the fragile papers under a stone in a hollowed out corner nearby.
Overview #1 Original and HP-Verse
Okay, since I have never done an overview before, don't be to disappointed if it sucks.
HP-Verse:
I did notice that I stayed away for the most part from the main characters, picking one's that do not have to much cannon to them, so that I could explore or rather put in what I wanted. Which might have been a mistake, I mean picking a character like the centaurs, while interesting and fun, because there is not much cannon to them I probably took to much liberty with them. Also with a couple of other less known characters. I also did to much telling and not enough showing, but of course I need to work on that.
Original Characters:
I actually had a tougher time of this than the HP-Verse. My characters are not so well fleshed out to make it easy at times, and also not as well developed as I would have liked, going into the project. Many of the characters are in fact part of the same grouping of people, Their story is developing but does not really have a set story yet, so their personalities change. I again did more telling than showing. My grammar mistakes I think are getting better, at least there are fewer of them.
HP-Verse:
I did notice that I stayed away for the most part from the main characters, picking one's that do not have to much cannon to them, so that I could explore or rather put in what I wanted. Which might have been a mistake, I mean picking a character like the centaurs, while interesting and fun, because there is not much cannon to them I probably took to much liberty with them. Also with a couple of other less known characters. I also did to much telling and not enough showing, but of course I need to work on that.
Original Characters:
I actually had a tougher time of this than the HP-Verse. My characters are not so well fleshed out to make it easy at times, and also not as well developed as I would have liked, going into the project. Many of the characters are in fact part of the same grouping of people, Their story is developing but does not really have a set story yet, so their personalities change. I again did more telling than showing. My grammar mistakes I think are getting better, at least there are fewer of them.
Jesse Carlisle revisited
Original telling: "Jesse hated being called pretty."
Showing:
Jesse stared at the staff paper, trying to hear the music in his head. One of the other actors clapped him on the shoulder.
“Don’t wrinkle your brow so hard when you think, pretty boy,” he said.
Jesse’s shoulders tightened, and his grip on his pencil went white-knuckled.
The other actor laughed. “Don’t look so angry, Carlisle. Only with your pretty face I’m sure the fangirls will call you broody and swoon some more.” Then he peered closer. “What are you doing?”
Jesse slammed his notebook shut and was on his feet. “Sorry, I’ve got to leave.” He fled.
Showing:
Jesse stared at the staff paper, trying to hear the music in his head. One of the other actors clapped him on the shoulder.
“Don’t wrinkle your brow so hard when you think, pretty boy,” he said.
Jesse’s shoulders tightened, and his grip on his pencil went white-knuckled.
The other actor laughed. “Don’t look so angry, Carlisle. Only with your pretty face I’m sure the fangirls will call you broody and swoon some more.” Then he peered closer. “What are you doing?”
Jesse slammed his notebook shut and was on his feet. “Sorry, I’ve got to leave.” He fled.
Project #3: Show 'n' Tell
This week, you have 100 words to show something that has already been told. Go back through your posts on original characters and look for something that was told but that you didn't have room to show. Post an expansion on that thing told but not shown. Include the original "tell" from the previous post; it won't go toward your 100 words, and then do your best to show what was previously told. Good luck, and happy writing!
Overview #1 & 2 - HP Fandom and Original Characters
So in the rules I posted that we were supposed to do an overview a week and then I promptly broke my own rule. But still, here it is. Usually I'd feel guilty about spamming the blog, but between the two of us, things should be all right.
HP Fandom was good times, but that's because I spend so much time reading and writing fanfic for it. And I love Cedric Diggory and Draco Malfoy in bizarre and equal terms, as well as me loving Remus Lupin. And Severus Snape. I mean, sure, Harry's cool and all, but he's the protagonist, and everything is about him. I really, really wanted to do a piece on Regulus Black, because I think he's been rather left in the cold, though not as much since DH came out. I found that, despite my best intentions, my descriptions of places ended up actually being descriptions of people, but then the character of a place is in its history, and history is people, so that works. I was pleased with myself for branching out and trying new things, like with Remus (whom I've never properly written before except as a secondary character) and Tobias Snape (who doesn't get much fandom love either). The trick with fandom is walking the fine line between canon of a character and throwing in your own original twist. Maybe that's why I prefer secondary characters, because there's more room to play.
As far as original characters go, my initial intention was to do drabbles for the boys and girls in the HN novel. Then I remembered that many of those characters are based on real people and I did drabbles for those real people, so I'll have to get some more flesh on those characters' bones before I can pull off a real drabble for each of them. I found that it's difficult to describe a character in isolation without coming off all Sweet Valley like (which I was definitely guilty of when I was younger). Novels and stories aren't meant to have a dramatis personae section in the front or the back (unless it's a Russian novel, or 100 Years of Solitude, because then there are so many characters that a dramatis personae section is necessary). Since boring, cliché introductions are no good as a literary device, I discovered that a vignette style worked best, one that had a slice of plot or action, because a description of an original character falls flat if he or she is not in action. I discovered, as well, that characterization and description go hand in hand, though it's easy to do too much of one and not the other. It was a good two weeks for me, because I love making new characters (and am far less successful at finishing stories with them). Characters should be the heart and soul of fiction, and I got in some good practice.
HP Fandom was good times, but that's because I spend so much time reading and writing fanfic for it. And I love Cedric Diggory and Draco Malfoy in bizarre and equal terms, as well as me loving Remus Lupin. And Severus Snape. I mean, sure, Harry's cool and all, but he's the protagonist, and everything is about him. I really, really wanted to do a piece on Regulus Black, because I think he's been rather left in the cold, though not as much since DH came out. I found that, despite my best intentions, my descriptions of places ended up actually being descriptions of people, but then the character of a place is in its history, and history is people, so that works. I was pleased with myself for branching out and trying new things, like with Remus (whom I've never properly written before except as a secondary character) and Tobias Snape (who doesn't get much fandom love either). The trick with fandom is walking the fine line between canon of a character and throwing in your own original twist. Maybe that's why I prefer secondary characters, because there's more room to play.
As far as original characters go, my initial intention was to do drabbles for the boys and girls in the HN novel. Then I remembered that many of those characters are based on real people and I did drabbles for those real people, so I'll have to get some more flesh on those characters' bones before I can pull off a real drabble for each of them. I found that it's difficult to describe a character in isolation without coming off all Sweet Valley like (which I was definitely guilty of when I was younger). Novels and stories aren't meant to have a dramatis personae section in the front or the back (unless it's a Russian novel, or 100 Years of Solitude, because then there are so many characters that a dramatis personae section is necessary). Since boring, cliché introductions are no good as a literary device, I discovered that a vignette style worked best, one that had a slice of plot or action, because a description of an original character falls flat if he or she is not in action. I discovered, as well, that characterization and description go hand in hand, though it's easy to do too much of one and not the other. It was a good two weeks for me, because I love making new characters (and am far less successful at finishing stories with them). Characters should be the heart and soul of fiction, and I got in some good practice.
Startled
Startled, Xin looked up at Sheva. He had never said those words to her, had never said them to anyone as far as she knew. Looking around at the crowded campsite she moved closesr to him, and whispered in his ear, "I love you too."
Thomas Malvolio Phillips
Kisses and heartaches, madness and murder - Tom liked them better when he had to memorize their lines. But he’d been through them all, and would shake his head when people asked about the Carver murders. He straightened his tie with absent hands, checked that his uniform would pass assembly inspection, and slipped into the Great Hall behind the rest of his form. If he closed his eyes, he’d walk down that street in Kyoto toward that house where he knew she would be, and then he’d take her in his arms - and then snap to attention for the school song.
Startled
She startled easily, like a rabbit at the sound of a hunter's rifle. Unfortunately, she didn't react like a rabbit would. She swung her sword up and blocked, the motion smooth like a wave on the ocean. Wet, too, with the arterial spray of blood. The others around her sang war cries, but she was too focused for that. Her silence unnerved her attackers. She did her best to unnerve them. And unman them. And unmake them.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)