Mama

"Hi mama," I said quietly as I knelt down in the cool grass of the late afternoon. I reached out and brushed a little bit of dirt from the smooth granite of the headstone; it was still a little warm from the sun.

"There are so many things I wanted to say to you," I began to talk to my mom, as if she were there, as if she could hear me. "Things that I never had a chance to say. Things that I didn't understand or couldn't express," my voice trailed off as memories came to the surface. Memories of good times, memories of how she had shaped my young life. Many of my memories flitted like insubstantial wisps, and others stood out in sharp detail.

"I know I probably never said it enough, but I love you. And I wanted to thank you," I paused, again assaulted by memories. "Mama thank you for who I am," I began, "thank you for all the things I'm not." I knew that because of her my job had a purpose. I was not like many of the others in the units who had little to no soul, who didn't care who they hurt and why.

"Mama remember all my life, you showed me love, You sacrificed. I think of those young and early days and how I've changed along the way," I continued to ramble on, just pouring my heart out. I felt tears begin to form, this day had been long in coming and now that it was here I found it hard to go on.

"I know you believed in me and I know you had dreams. And I'm sorry it took all this time for me to see; That I am where I am because of your truth. I miss you," I choked out, "I miss you."

I stood up on unsteady feet, "Everything that I am I owe to you, mama," I whispered and turned away.

Ages

"How old are you Jen?" Joe asked absentmindedly as they walked along the beach.

Jen laughed, "don't you know it's not polite to ask a woman her age?"

"You can't be much older than me," Joe said as he pulled her to a stop at the edge of the water.

"Well, I did graduate early from high school, and I jumped right into the local nursing program. I always knew that that was what I wanted to do with my life. I always wanted to help people. And look what it brought me," Jen said as she held up their intertwined hands.

"You're evading the question," Joe accused as he began to walk again.

"No I'm not, I just haven't answered you yet."

"Are you going to answer me?"

"Would it make a difference how old I was?"

"Not really," Joe said, "I'm just curious."

Jen looked out at the setting sun and then back to the handsome young man by her side. "I'll be twenty one in six weeks."

"And I'll be eighteen in a month," Joe said.

Ghostly

"You know, it really sucks that I can't touch you all the time," David said as he reclined in a chair, half in shade and half in the sun. Ariana hovered as if she were sitting on his lap.

"But you can see me almost all the time," Ariana said with laughter in her voice. "If you could touch me all the time, or rather, I could touch you, then I would be alive and I couldn't do my work."

"What exactly is your work?" David asked. He had gotten used to talking to her out loud, but only when he was sure there was no one around.

"Mostly to keep you safe," she said, "that's why I had to die. God knew that you would need me to help keep you safe. But thankfully, He didn't want to separate us."

"You said mostly," David said after a few moments, "what else do you do?"

"Well, you are by far the person that takes up most of my time. The other two don't need me so much. I also keep a general eye on your team, though each of them have their own guardian," she said.

"So when can you touch me?" David asked with a wink.

"When it won't endanger you, when it will keep you from harm, and when I think it is for your good," Ariana ticked them off on her fingers, her voice singsong as if reciting a list of rules.

"For my good," David laughed, the lost twinkle in his eye sparking to life, "wouldn't that be all the time."

"No," Ariana smiled, "I have to judge when it is for your good."

"Like when?" David asked.

"Like now," Ariana whispered and leaned in for a ghostly kiss.

Freak Out

"Now that I have accepted the reality of your existence, will you show yourself?" David asked. It had been nearly three months since his 'visitor' had taken to keeping him company.

"I still don't think you are ready," she laughed.

"What if I promise not to freak out or anything, not that I think that anything could freak me out now."

"If you behave yourself, then maybe."

David was still not one hundred percent certain that he wasn't crazy, but he was fairly sure."

She sighed, "remember how I told you that I had been wanting to touch you for a long time?"

David remembered back to that day when she had touched him, how it had brought back so many memories, and feelings. "Yes," he said hesitantly.

"Well that was not strictly true."

David waited for her to continue.

"It was true that I had wanted to touch you for a long time, but I didn't tell you how much I had missed touching you."

"Missed touching..." David began with a puzzled expression.

"David," the voice said hesitantly, as if afraid.

David suddenly recognized the intonation of his name, and everything clicked into place. The teasing, the smack to the back of the head, the way that he felt when she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Ari?" He asked, half in shock, half in hope.

The voice didn't say anything.

"Please Ari, if that's you, please, please, show yourself to me," David said frantically as he looked around for the source of her voice, now certain that it was her.

David sat stunned as his love appeared before his eyes; there but not really there. She was biting her lip in the way he knew all to well, "Hey Dave," she whispered.

David jumped up and ran towards her with his arms outstretched, "Ari!"

Ariana shook her head, "I can only touch you at certain times," she said as he passed through her.

David turned to look at her, his heart in his eyes, "why? Why did you have to leave me?" he asked brokenly, longing to touch the woman he loved, his had outstretched to caress her face.

"I never left you. Never," she said, "but you needed protection. You have a great work to do in life. You still need to do that, and I will be here with you to the end."

"Will we be together when it's all over?" David asked.

"I promise."

Not Forbidden

"You know, you are starting to creep me out," David said. He knew no one was there, but he knew that she could hear him; that she was there. He had finally decided that the spirit, or whatever it was, was a woman.

"Why is that?" the voice asked after a moment of silence.

"You know me too well, as if you have always been watching me."

"Maybe I have."

"No. I remember. You said that you had been watching me for years, not from the beginning."

David caught a sigh coming from the spirit. "Can you show yourself?" David asked.

"I can. But I won't," the spirit said.

"Why not?"

"You're not ready for that."

"But you can smack me around?"

"Of course I can. Physical contact is not forbidden."

David nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt ghostly fingers being run through his hair, felt them on his neck at the collar of his shirt. He felt one finger tracing a line across his cheekbone, and another cupping his face. David felt his breath hitch in his throat and tears start in his eyes, the touch bringing back sensations and long suppressed memories.

David quickly stepped away for the contact, not sure if that would help. "Please," he whispered, "don't do that."

"But I have wanted to for a long time," the spirit whispered

"Who are you?" David asked.

"Now that is forbidden," the spirit said wistfully, "you'll have to discover that one on your own."

"How am I to do that?"

"Look to the stars...."


(not sure if these are really convoluted or if you are following where I am leading. ;))

What Do You Want?

"Alright!" David said in exasperation, "what is it you want and why do you keep kitting me in the back of the head?" David backed up against a wall, "I mean thanks for saving my life and all, but really, you need to just tell me what you want. Why won't you leave me alone?"

"Because you're not listening!" an exasperated voice whispered in his ear.

"What am I not listening to?" David asked, not sure if he should be talking to himself.

"You're not listening to me. I've been trying to get your attention for years. I've been protecting you for years. You just never knew it."

"Well I'm certainly listening now. What is it you want?"

"I want you to be safe and happy."

David sighed, "neither is possible for me. My work precludes the first, and events in the past eliminate the second."

David felt another tap to the back of his head.

"Will you knock it off!"

"No," the voice said as it faded into the night.