"Alright!" David said in exasperation, "what is it you want and why do you keep kitting me in the back of the head?" David backed up against a wall, "I mean thanks for saving my life and all, but really, you need to just tell me what you want. Why won't you leave me alone?"
"Because you're not listening!" an exasperated voice whispered in his ear.
"What am I not listening to?" David asked, not sure if he should be talking to himself.
"You're not listening to me. I've been trying to get your attention for years. I've been protecting you for years. You just never knew it."
"Well I'm certainly listening now. What is it you want?"
"I want you to be safe and happy."
David sighed, "neither is possible for me. My work precludes the first, and events in the past eliminate the second."
David felt another tap to the back of his head.
"Will you knock it off!"
"No," the voice said as it faded into the night.
1 comment:
Hmmm. Okay, your dialogue tags are a little sketchy, but the interaction is entertaining. Still, going from mere hints of a personage-type-entity existing to full on conversation seems like...quite a jump. Maybe a bit rushed? David was so skeptical at first - leaping right to conversation seems like you're robbing the genre of some of its curiosity/horror. David's mental adjustment as he comes to realize the extent of guardian spirits is half of what makes the awesomeness of urban fantasy - waking up and seeing the world around you for what it is.
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