Tell Me What You Know

"Tell me what you know!"

"Captain, he can't tell you anything if you keep hitting him."

"Talk, ya lily-livered beast!"

"Maybe you should take the gag off of him first."

"Oh. Right. There - now tell me the truth, you commie pinko spy!"

"Captain, the kid's Greek. The Greeks invented democracy."

"It's just an expression, sailor. Aren't you supposed to be swabbing the decks?"

"Well, one of the lasses heard a bit of muffled screaming and thought I should come check on the, er, progress of the interrogation."

"I'm only hitting him. He can talk if he has a black eye."

"About that."

"What is it now, sailor?"

"Well, Bosun Benny - he told me to tell you he's seen this kid before, and, well, last he checked, the kid'd had his tongue cut out. Hence the muffled screaming. Or that might've been the gag. Or maybe it's not the same kid Benny saw at all. You know Benny - he was drunk the entire time we were going through the Aegean --"

"Sailor, open his mouth."

"Aye, Cap'n."

"Oh. He is missing a tongue."

"Well-spotted, sir. Shall I fetch a quill and parchment?"

"I can't read, sailor."

"Of course. Swabbing the decks it is for me, then. Cheerio!"