Living This Way

Scott stared down at the diary open on his knee, at the fragments of sentences he’d scribbled while drunk. What had he been trying to say? He scooped up his guitar and tested a few chords, then squinted down at his journal some more.

He paused, scooped up a pencil, and drew line breaks between some of the sentences and phrases.

Then, alone on the cold empty floor of his house, he began to sing.

“Wake me up and I'm tired again.

A good night’s sleep is around the bend.

I know in your arms is the only place I'll be disarmed.

I smoke to much so I'm trying to quit.

It's so hard, with no one to quit with,

Back on track with an insecure wrath.

How do I keep on living this and

Why do I keep on living this way?

I look in my diary almost every day,

See how bad life's been

And how much better things could be.

I can't face the truth ‘cause then I'd be facing you.

How do I keep on living this and

Why do I keep on living this way?”

Scott considered the diary some more, then reached out and grabbed a nearby bottle of vodka by the neck. He unscrewed the cap with his teeth, spat it aside, and then took a long pull.

After a few deep breaths, Scott picked up his guitar and tried the song again. It had sounded, oddly enough, better when he was sober. That was a good sign. He reached out and turned on the cheap little recorder he’d bought.

Once the song was done, he turned the page in his diary and considered his writing some more.

(285 words - lyrics from Kissing & Bleeding by Scott, Clint, and Bob Moffatt)