Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Into the Night

Warm breathe of spring
Whispers silk soft
Against the skin.

Lily scent and Lilac grace
Ripening in the sun.
Color on the green.

Heavens dew distilling
Soft upon the grass
Fading into night.

1 comment:

Nagi said...

I dig the first stanza - concrete, simple, and brief, although I suspect you meant "breath" instead of "breath".

I don't know what you meant by "lilac grace", and "color on the green" confused me as well as green is a color. I suspect you meant the petals against leaves, the "the green" could also be like a medieval village commons.

Hmmmm. Dew usually happens in the morning? So the time of the third stanza was some serious compression.

Also, missing an apostrophe.

Nevertheless, the first stanza makes the poem.

How many words?