She was dangerous.
Sparks showered around her, bright with the silent warning. The darkenss fluttered around her as she arose from her crouch, her eyes still narrow ocher slits, chest rumbling with displeasure. Her lithe body slunk through the shadows, She was an animal, she was a human, she was neither and both at the same time. 57...
Kali slid into her seat beside Tobias. "So where were you last night," he asked.
Kali shruged, "no where in particular."
Tobias looked at her with his deep brown eyes in disbelief. "I know you better than that. How is Saia," he whispered.
(haha hand counted to 100)
1 comment:
Okay. This is prose, yes, which is a rather generic genre of literature. I can't tell what you're going for here. My best guess is description. Was that your aim?
I would run at least a grammar and spell check before posting. Note that actions that are not dialogue tags should be separate sentences from the dialogue itself.
Nowhere is one word.
Once character descriptions have been established, try to go easy on pointing out physical features unless you're making a very fine point (other than the fact that your character is attractive).
I do like "darkness fluttered around her". It makes it sound as though she's so one with the night that she can wear it like a cloak. Lovely metaphor.
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