Alastrina was at the club again. She had been there every night for the last two weeks, waiting. Waiting for him.
Since that first night she had only seen him once. She never saw more of him than his eyes or the glint of his smile. He usually sang love ballads that had all the women in the club swooning. She had come every night, hoping to hear that voice again.
Alastrina's thought were scattered to the wind when she heard the opening bars of one of her favorite songs, looking to the stage all she saw was blackness, and her heart rate sped up. It was him.
It was a smooth samba rhythm; his smooth alluring voice coming out of the darkness.
When marimba rhythms start to play
Dance with me, make me sway
Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore
Hold me close, sway me more
Alastrina's eyes drifted closed, her mind reveling in the gentle caress of his song. She started to sway, the song compelled her.
Like a flower bending in the breeze
Bend with me, sway with ease
When we dance you have a way with me
Stay with me, sway with me
Green eyes found her. She would remember.
(The song is Sway, and this version is done by Michael Buble. The song and the Lyrics can be found here. Both are on the page you just need to pull down the more info tab.)
2 comments:
Hah. Romance and mystery. Good choice, and fun with old-fashioned music. Grammar notes: "He usually sang." "Sung" is the past perfect, not just the past tense (if that makes any sense). Also, this line right here has a misplaced modifier: "Alastrina's eyes drifted closed, reveling in the gentle caress of his song." In this sentence, you mean Alastrina is reveling in the gentle caress of his song (awesome synesthetic imagery; you are a poet). However, the modifier after the comma is misplaced, so anyone reading this literally would get to thinking her eyes were reveling, since you were talking about her eyes before the comma. Does that help clear up the mystery of the misplaced modifier?
yeah I see how that would be read wrong. Thanks! I'll try not to do that again.
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