Friday, July 3, 2009

Project in the Works

David walked into his room and placed his backpack on his desk. Kicking off his shoes he placed them on the floor of his closet and tossed his dirty socks into the hamper. Walking back to his desk, David unzipped his backpack and pulled out his textbook and notepads, placing them neatly on his desk.

The room was spacious, the walls lined neatly with posters and pictures in frames. A computer sat humming in one corner of the room. A bookshelf was near the window, the titles organized by genre and author. An electronic keyboard was tucked into one corner, sheets of music spread on the music stand.

Strangely the only disorderly aspect to the room was the bed. Sheets and blankets were tangled on the end of the bed. Papers were crumpled and scattered over the bedding, sketches and snatches of writing. Drawings lay at strange angles and bizarre juxtapositions to each other. A pillow and a light blanket lay on the floor, as if he had chosen to sleep on the floor rather than disturb the pattern of the papers.

David glanced over at the bed, twitching as if he were going to jump up and rearrange the papers on the bed. Sighing he turned back to his homework, working out a few sums. Looking at the bed again, David almost made it out of his chair before he stopped himself. Grinding his teeth, David turned his back squarely on his project and forced himself to finish his work.

"Soon enough," he said.

3 comments:

Nagi said...

Hmmm. Something about this feels oddly formulaic. Try sentence variation. The first paragraph has sentences that mostly start with misplaced modifiers. The second paragraph starts with definite articles. The second paragraph starts with nouns, like a complex list. Then back to misplaced modifiers. You have a lot of great details, but you sort of spill them out like a huge shopping list. I do like the final sentence of the third paragraph.

Madness said...

bangs head. I knew this one would be bad...the muse is not cooperating

Nagi said...

Not every day will be good, but you got your words for the day, and that's what counts. Writers have revision, after all.