I Poured My Heart Out

On one hand, there’s Layla.

I love Layla. I have since the moment I laid eyes on her. She was beautiful, and crazy, and I ate it all up. It was nice to have someone to be crazy with. I felt like I could actually be myself with her, that I didn’t have to be responsible. I could be a kid forever, and she would always be by my side, holding my hand as we ran off into the sunset.

Things change, though.

I’ve almost lost Layla a few times. Because she’s crazy, and because she’s always changing her mind, she hates it here in Fayeville. She says that this place reeks of stagnation… whatever that means. Who am I kidding? I know what it means. See, I’m the kind of guy that was meant to grow up, live, and die in Fayeville. I just can’t find a reason to leave. Layla would have been a good reason, but… I was too scared to do it. That’s why she left the first time.

Then, there’s Sam.

I’ve known Sam my whole life. Well, I don’t think that’s true necessarily, but I have known her for quite a long time. For some reason, we just clicked all of a sudden. We understood each other. That doesn’t mean that we didn’t have our differences, because we do. She’s very book smart, and she wants to get out of here too. Not as bad as Layla does, but she wants to go learn about the world. Now, I’m not a dumb guy, but I am aware of my limits. Sometimes Sam has to explain things to me – she doesn’t do it to degrade me, she just says things in a way that I can understand them. She always seems to have a handle on things, and she was always there when I needed her. Especially when Layla left.

I think I knew that she loved me.

I was just too afraid, and too consumed by Layla to really notice. But I could see it, sometimes.

Hell, I felt it sometimes.

Layla… Sam… I’m so sorry. I wish I knew how to make both of you happy. I wish I knew what would really make me happy.

I guess there’s only one way to find out.

(382 words)