Laika flitted through the trees, no sound coming from his soft shod feet. Clear depthless eyes peered from an intelligent heart stopping-beautiful face. Bow and hand were seamless, both adept at finding their target and making the kill. His voice raised in song was enough to make the nightingales jealous of his music. His fingers, long and slender, drew from wood and stone images that had no peer. Marriage was not his goal, but his fathers wish.
Running through the woods he fled his decreed fate and looked for a future elsewhere that did not exist for him.
2 comments:
That was well-done. It was poetic, but then I shouldn't expect anything less from you. I would argue that depth-less can be one word, and heart-stopping is definitely a hyphenated word, because without the hyphen it throws the rhythm off. You managed to capture him in a classical fashion. I can imagine Homer or someone reeling this off.
Grammar note: misplaced modifier on the last sentence; starting a sentence with an imperfect clause is a bit...confusing. Good times with Laika, though.
I reworked Xin.
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