(the song should be low in the background. I know it may be a bit dramatic, but....I needed something foreboding...Skip forward to about the 1 minute mark)
"Lieutenant Blackwood." Steve answered the phone.
"Steve!" A panicked voice came over the line."
"Rachel?" Steve was surprised to hear his sisters voice.
"Steve, you've got to help me." Rachel's voice quiet, as if afraid someone would overhear her.
"Rachel, what's wrong? Where are you?" Steve was starting to get more than a little worried. His normally unflappable sister sounded on the verge of a panic attack.
"I don't know where I am. Please you have got to find me." Rachel sounded like she was almost in tears.
"Okay, Rachel, calm down. Where were you last? Where is Mom and Dad?" Steve was kicking into operation mode, trying to get all the facts.
"I was out with some friends, We were going to a bar at the edge of town. I don't know where Mom and Dad are."
"Okay Rachel. I want you to stay calm. I'm coming to find you." Steve said, reassuring his sister.
"Please hurry Steve, I'm scared."
"Hey, have I ever let you down?" Steve asked in a lighter tone, trying to dispel some of her anxiety.
"No," Rachel whispered.
Steve was loathed to hang up on his sister when she needed him, but he had to find her as fast as possible.
Steve tore into the bunk room, grabbing clothes and equipment and stuffing them into a duffel bag. The rest of the team were standing in surprise at the state of the normally calm First Lieutenant.
Steve was running out the door when he ran into David.
"Commander, I have to leave. My sister is in trouble. I have to help her." Steve spoke very fast, trying to edge around his leader.
David nodded, "Let's go men, grab your gear and we will be out in two minutes."
Steve looked at David with gratitude. "Thank you Major."
"Your family is my family Steve," said David, as the team jogged out of the barrack and down the hall towards the aircraft hanger.
3 comments:
Nice to see their actual family. That was a twist I hadn't thought of. Minor grammar note: "Where are Mom and Dad?"
Maybe I'm just a fast reader, but I didn't get past the female soloist by the time I made it to the end of the piece, and so that felt really weird to me. Skipping forward to the one minute mark came a little too late. I'm not sure that an orchestral piece fits this prose so much because we're working with modern warfare - orchestral pieces cease to be any good for modern warfare pretty much after WWII.
For something like this, I'd go with an industrial/trance/house piece, maybe Prodigy or Propellerheads or Massive Attack, since those start out thrumming and low for the conversation and then pick up for the action at the end.
Given the nature of David's unit, I was surprised that David went along with things so easily. I would have surmised that since David was an orphan, the rest of the unit would come from a similar background. I can see how David's a cool commander and all, but...that felt odd to me. I don't know your universe well enough to tell what's against protocol and what isn't.
I agree with Nagi. Since this is from LoTR, unfortunately that's what I'm thinking of. Especially since Two Towers is my favorite LoTR soundtrack, haha. I also don't know a whole lot about the world, so it's hard for me to comment on the characters and their actions.
I think I just need to choose my music more carefully.
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