I wasn't sure about this the first time I read it, so then I read it aloud, and I loved it up until the last two lines, which I loved while they were unspoken in my head.
I could almost hear Miss Misanthropic reading this aloud, and trying it with her reading rhythm made it lyrical. Aloud it sounds careless and heartbroken, but on the screen it seemed a little too bare to stir much emotion in me.
Aloud it was startling; in my eyes it was...too abstract. Maybe I should sleep. I like the simplicity of it all, though. It's like those moments in conversation we'd have when we'd be discussing something lovely, dark, and deep and poetry would just spill from our lips.
I want mooooore. This cries for fleshing out. You've got a good start, I just need something concrete to attach it to. Sorry if I seem like I'm saying the same thing all the time.
2 comments:
I wasn't sure about this the first time I read it, so then I read it aloud, and I loved it up until the last two lines, which I loved while they were unspoken in my head.
I could almost hear Miss Misanthropic reading this aloud, and trying it with her reading rhythm made it lyrical. Aloud it sounds careless and heartbroken, but on the screen it seemed a little too bare to stir much emotion in me.
Aloud it was startling; in my eyes it was...too abstract. Maybe I should sleep. I like the simplicity of it all, though. It's like those moments in conversation we'd have when we'd be discussing something lovely, dark, and deep and poetry would just spill from our lips.
I want mooooore. This cries for fleshing out. You've got a good start, I just need something concrete to attach it to. Sorry if I seem like I'm saying the same thing all the time.
Post a Comment