An alternate universe
lies behind my eyes.
You are not with her,
I am not with him,
it is only us.
And it feels right.
Why, I could not say.
Our lips meet awkwardly.
Perhaps on another
plane of reality.
A strange affection
exists here and now,
from drinking buddies
to best friends
in one summer alone.
I wish I could stop
dreaming.
(63 words)
3 comments:
Your sense of poetic structure far outstrips mine, and you have seriously mastered the art of structure to control pace.
The first two lines of the third stanza made sense when I first zoomed through the poem, but on a second go round they felt a little...non-sequitur. But not quite. Maybe because they're a fragment separate from everything else?
As a whole the poem makes poignant, wistful, heartwrenching sense, but for some reason those two lines draw me short.
*hugs*
Also, I love your title. You're a genius at titles.
I felt it. Well played Chaos.
Post a Comment