I close my eyes,
and I can see your face.
My heart and mind vies;
which will dictate pace?
Heart begs to race,
mind pleads to wait.
Love will find a place;
by a twist of fate.
Have I asked to late?
I want to hear your call.
Hovering in an anxious state;
please. I'm ready to fall.
Let's take the chance.
Teach me to dance.
2 comments:
Hmmmm. I can sort of tell what's going on here, and there are some pretty cool images, but it seems like you've sacrificed clarity for meter and rhyme. Also, some random mis-punctuation really threw me off. At the end of the first stanza, I think there should be a question mark. I read that three times before I fully cottoned on.
The last three lines are pretty much gold, though.
Good word choice, but there's just something missing for me. Maybe I want more. Eh.
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